Two Chicks and a Little Fitch
by two hands two feet
Summary: I'm in the belly of a canyon. I can't come up with any reason.
1. Boy with a Coin

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Hey brief intro to this story. I have written here for a long time. This is just a different user name because the fandoms that I write for have changed haha to some degree anyway. The first part of this is simply an intro to give a little background on where the characters are now before it picks up. It will (save the intro) be POV. Enjoy!

two hands two feet.

disclaimer: Not mine

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**Two Chicks and a Little Fitch**

**Chapter 1: Boy with a Coin**

_**When God left The Ground To Circle the World**_

The pub was dark and musky and vacant. Some little hole in the wall that Cook swore by. The place smelled of groin and piss and your feet stuck to the floor when you walked. Set awkwardly in a corner was an old juke box where the tunes hadn't been changed since the mid eighties, and a dilapidated pool table with one leg held up by cinder blocks. It was as if time had progressively run the place into the ground and nobody had stopped to notice. That aside dollar pints made the place a palace to James Cook who had drug his friends along on one of his many excursions. After a few pints, pills, and some spliff it didn't matter where they were much anyway.

"One more round!" Emily Fitch slams her empty pint on the table. She feels the words leave her mouth but they never processed through her brain. No, her brain had stopped working four pints, three tequila shots, and a couple funny looking pills ago. Judging from the looks of her friends who sat around the table with her they were in the same situation.

"You sure Ems?" Emily looks up to connect eyes with the blonde sitting across the table from her. In their drunken haze however their gaze was faltering.

Naomi glances around the rest of the group to see if there were objections from anyone else. She just finds Effy poised on Cooks lap with her tongue down her throat and his hand running up her skirt. The lights in the rickety pub flickered. Why did they keep doing that?

"Eff!" No response. "EFFY!" Naomi shouted again finally snapping the brunette out of her sex induced reverie.

"What'd ya do that for?" Cook whines as Effy pulls away from him

"One more round?" Emily poses to them, her brown dilated eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Well why the fuck not?" Cook asks looking at them like they were both stupid before throwing his hand up signaling the waiter. "'nother round right here mate!"

The bartender rolls his eyes as he places four more pints on the table. There were so many empty glasses already there was barely anywhere to sit the new ones.

"Gonna feel like crap tomorrow." Naomi muses before starting on her drink.

"We got shit to do anyway." Effy carelessly shrugs as Naomi feels a leg slide up her thigh. It holds itself there a second before sliding down and then back up again.

She didn't have to look to know that Emilys eyes were on her. She could feel them running all over her body, so glassy that they were dripping their lust over every inch of the blondes body. And then Naomi realized that there were better ideas at the moment than another pint. There were _definitely _better ideas.

Quickly she flicks her eyes up to the red head who obviously had the same thing in mind.

"Cook." Naomi breathes out, eyes still locked on Emily whose legs were now sending her shivers. Luckily the pub was dark and nobody could see how the red head was teasing her, which also made her a little concerned about what was going on with Cook and Effy in that chair. Thankfully she was able to push that thought away.

"Yeah?" Cook repositions Effy on his lap so that he could see the blonde.

"Get the tab." The red head finishes for her girlfriend as she ran her leg even further up the blondes, and further, and further… Naomi let out a small yelp as the red head finally landed at her destination.

"Fuck" Effy looked between the two "What the hell are you two doing under there? You got vibrators in your shoes or something?" She joked coolly. In a manner so cool infact it could only belong to the one and only Effy Stonem.

"Why am I getting the tab? See this here was your idea takin' us all out any everythin', yeah?" Cook glanced at Emily

"Yeah but that's 'cause you said that you'd take us all out with the extra tips we had from the other night when we all worked open to close!" Emily argued back

"Well did you grab the cash then?" Cook tossed back at Emily as he scooted Effy off his lap eliciting an eye roll from her as she slumped into her seat. Immediately becoming bored with the situation she downs her pint.

"What cash?" Emily scowls at him

"The cash on the edge of the table before you left, next to my pipe, on top of the nudie mag…"

There was a silence around the table as everyone looked at one another.

"I uh, - I" Naomi began

"You what Naoms!" Emily urged her swiftly pulling her leg away from the girl

"Well remember the money we said we were gonna throw in for the pills, and the spliff- I guess, I mean it was sitting out… I thought it was the cash but I guess not." Naomi spoke up

"You spent the money on pills then?" Cook accused

"Yeah, the pills that you washed down about twenty minutes ago thank you very much!" She shot back. "And the spliff and the rest of the stuff!"

Emily intervened. If you left Naomi and Cook too long in one of their battles there would be no winners and she and Effy would just become casualties of their hot tempers.

"Well does anyone have any money then?" Emily looks around the table, no one responds. Effy picks her fingernails, Naomi twists the ends of her hair around her fingers, and Cook is rocking back and forth in his chair with his arms crossed. His eyes are firmly fixed on the floor.

"Oh yeah well this is great then." Emily scans the bar. Yes, they were the last ones left and to top it off the sun was beginning to peek through the lone window. The heavy, fuzzy, hazy feeling of all of the pills and alcohol that she had taken that night were beginning to sink in. Especially since there was nothing left to drink.

"Alright then." Effy stood. Stumbling the smallest bit as she did she grabbed her jacket.

"Where do you think your going?" Cook asked as he rose quickly and grabbed her arm.

Effy sighed as she scanned the group with her infamous smirk. Her icy blue eyes bore into us all.

"Well I guess we're leaving then." Effy said simply.

"Im not sure that's-" Naomi began before Effy cut her off.

"The bartender went out for a fag less than five ago. They go around side by the kitchen. If we leave now he won't see us." With that Effy saunters away toward the door

"Im in" Cook mused with a cheeky grin as he grabbed his jacket and followed away after Effy. "Wait up Eff!" He called out after her.

"You can't be serious?" Naomi questions as Emily reaches her hand to her. She wouldn't have listened, well she wouldn't if she had the choice, but Cook and Effy were nearly at the door and Emily's eyes shone that mischief again. It was the same that she had since they were twelve years old when she could sneak a glance at the blonde without Katie noticing.

With a shrug of submission Naomi allows Emily to take her hand and lead her from the bar. They step outside and are suddenly blinded by the light.

"Oh jesus." Effy mutters lowly as she shades her eyes and reaches back for Cook to lean on for support.

"HEY!" They hear a low voice burst behind them.

"Oh shit." Emily grasps Naomis hand tighter

"YOU DIDN'T PAY YOUR TAB!" At this point the bartender was just inches from Cooks face.

"Left the tab on the table mate." Cook said breezily looking away from the man and turning to lead the girls down the street

"I didn't give you a total." He reminded them swinging Cook back around by the shoulder

"We guesstimated trus-" But Cook could finish his sentence a fist collided square with his face.

A brief smile could be seem flash from Cooks blood dripping mouth before he balled his hand into a quick fist, dropped it back to his shoulder, and then swung.

**Emilys POV:**

"Fuck."

A noise that only I can hear invades my head. It throbs so hard and violently that I feel like Im spinning but Im not. Im in bed- on wait, this is not my bed… not my bed at all. I try to open my mouth but my throat is so dry that the air makes it worse so I have to close it again. I swallow struggling for moisture between my lips so I can breathe and hopefully get rid of the tight feeling in my chest.

As I stretch my arm falls to the side and hit's the floor, once again reminding me Im not in my bed. As the throbbing slows however I hear a soft breathing next to me. Naoms? Good. At least she's here. I think... It takes me a second before I can will my eyes open and turn my head. Luckily the sky was grey and cloudy. The mere thought of sunlight is enough to split my head in two. That's when I realize that there is a hand a just meter away from my face. The hand was small and delicate, a female hand… a hand that was wearing black nail polish? Fuck, I thought as it dawned on me that this was not infact Naomi but-

"Eff!" I prod the girl as I pull myself up and scan the room.

I let out a sigh of relief. We had made it to Uncle Keiths pub. We made it home.

"What?" Effys voice was raspy and low as she rolled over on the booth.

"Effy get the fuck up. Do you even know where we are?" I question her trying not to smirk. I watch the girl force open her eyes. When she finally does the pools of blue look around in confusion and she furrows her brow.

"Of fuck." She breathes out also realizing that we had fallen asleep in the pub. "So I take it we were too wasted to make it up the stairs then." She smirks then points to the bar.

"Jesus." I fly up from my seat and sway for a second since, yanno, I'm so hung-over the ground is moving beneath me and all.

I focus my attention to where Effy was gazing to see Cook passed out, fully on top of the bar, clutching a bottle of tequila. Naomi was still sitting vertically on a bar stool with her head perched near Cooks on the bar. He was snoring loudly in her ear.

What can I say? Typical morning these days.

We all had finished up at round view, well I guess except for Cook, and most people went their separate ways. Pandora and Thomas had gone to University in America, JJ well he's still around but it appears that the lifestyle we lead doesn't suit him to well what with baby Albert and all. Cook managed to escape jail time yet again. How? I don't know. He's boasted that he's got a file thicker than the bible. Freds went missing straight after our A levels and nobody's heard from him since.

That's one thing that nobody ever talks about. I guess everyone's afraid to rattle Eff. Well that and the fact that I think we're all a little scared of the truth ourselves. There is however one other topic that goes unmentioned. Katie.

After our first year at College Katie had gone away for the summer with that tosser Danny on some football tour. In Katies words it was so "Victoria Beckham". I thought that she had been ridiculous for leaving, but we were 16, and I got more time with Naomi outside of Katies shadow. But then she didn't come back. She had married the wanker over the summer and said she was going to stay with him… in Spain. He had gotten signed to some small league out there and it was going to be "his big break".

Days, weeks, months passed without hearing from her. We'd get an occasional letter. Occasional phone call, and that was it. I had managed to track her down once. It was about three years ago (its been almost six since she left) to some address in London. Naomi had come with me. Needless to say it didn't end well but that's long story. That's another story.

As for Naoms, Effy, Cook, and I we still live here right in Bristol. Uncle Keith had dropped dead in his pub during trivia night after a few too many years of a few too many pints. Then who did we find he was wise enough to leave the pub to in his will? His favorite nephew James Cook. For us we kind of lucked out. Cook was quick to employ us all because come on, what did he know about running a business?

Naoms handles the books and the money and all of that stuff, Effy finds, books, and often ends up snogging the talent. Cook runs the bar, and I manage the patrons and the menus. The best part of the deal is probably that upstairs above the pub is Uncle Keiths old flat. Its decent space, two bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom the normal stuff.

Hours later Naomi and I are lounging on the couch. We were too unimpressively hung over to even open the pub that day.

"What time is it?" Naomi asks. She is lying across the couch with her head in my lap.

"5:45." I stroke the blondes hair. She has the cutest pout on her face as I hear her mumble

"I feel as though I'll never be sober again."

I had to chuckle she was almost poetic. If there was a weakling amongst us for alcohol tolerance its probably me BUT Naomi always ends up with the worst hangover.

"I really think that my liver may be dead." She continues to muse as I chuckle at her.

"Oh you big baby." She swats me lightly before she rolls over to face me. As her blue eyes connect with mine I place a small kiss on her lips. "Besides, tomorrow is Friday. That is the real party night."

"No, no more!" Naomi groans. "No more parties, no more pills or spliff-"

"It's Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday." A husky voice came from nowhere. I flick my eyes up and away from Naomi to see Effy propped in the armchair across from us.

"Fuck Effy you scared the shit outta me!"

She shrugs at my comment lighting up a spliff. She takes a long drag before passing it to Naomi who thankfully takes it.

"I thought you said no more." I chide her with a smirk. She turns back to me and lets a long stream of smoke out right into my face which I greedily inhale.

Suddenly a loud low buzzing could be heard throughout the flat.

"Jesus that's the worst noise ever." Naomi groans. Effy tosses me a pillow from her chair which I then press over Naomi's head.

"Told you Id always take care of you." I whisper through the pillow

"What by smothering me!" I can her her muffled voice speak.

"Cook! Get the door!" Effy shouts but he's already down the stairs to get it. Mind you he went butt ass naked. It was nothing that none of us hadn't seen before. Cook has a habit of sleeping in the nude. If Effy's having a shag with some guy in their bed (yes they share a room and a bed but "are just shagging" so they say) you can often find Cook sleeping naked on the couch. Effy, on the other hand, doesn't sleep when Cook is shagging other girls. I think that those are the nights that she thinks about Freddie the most. The nights where she doesn't have an excuse to rub up against.

Anyhow, Naomi jokes about how unsanitary it is given Cooks history with crabs and things of the sort but she tolerates it. Naomi and Cook are odd souls perfectly matched.

"So guys we have a problem." I peer over the couch to see Cook re-enter the room with a fresh black eye from the pub last night. He is cupping his dick in one hand, and a small childs hand with the other.

"What the fuck is that Cook!" Effy fumes. I can see the wheels turning in her head.

"NO, NO! It's not mine I swear! I don't even know where it came from! I went to get the door there he was. The car just kinda pulled off. And then the neighbor saw me 'cross the way in my birthday suit with a little boy bringing him inside-" The expression on Cooks face was a mix of horror and amusement

"Cook!" Effy threw him a pair of boxers off of the couch "I told you look like a sex offer." She mutters under her breath.

The little boy, who appeared to be four or five kept his eyes down at the ground. Cook released his hand and put the boxers on quickly. Just then I got a horrible feeling in my gut.

"Did it come with anything?" Naomi asked next

"No, jus' bags." Cook mused looking down at the little boy. "You got a name there mate?" He asked the child.

The boy still didn't speak but he did raise his head and suddenly his chocolate brown pools connect with mine and I knew. I knew exactly who he was. I could feel Naomi's eyes on me. I know she was thinking the same thing. Cook and Effy were watching us in confusion. Well Cook looked confused. Effy appeared to be piecing it together.

"Micah Fitch?" My voice quivers with uncertainty as the words fall from my lips

"Mum?" He breaths out slowly tears pouring down his cheeks.

"Oh fucking hell."

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More soon! What did you think? There is a decent amount of this written because I dont like leaving people hanging if it is a story im not 100% invested in. BUT I want to know what you want because there are several directions this coud go.

-Should Katie be featured or should some "other circumstance" render her unable to be in the story

-Freddie? Yes, ... no? Effy and Freddie, or Effy and Cook?

Anyway the story with have light fun times, dark depressing time, and as always general skins debauchery.

That's all for A/N. I like to keep it simple. We read for the storie right? But Im serious about letting me know what you want to see come of this.


	2. Cannibal Resource

Disclaimer: still isnt mine.

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**Chapter 2: Cannibal Resource**

_**Can It Sing a Melody?**_

_The boy still didn't speak but he did raise his head and suddenly his chocolate brown pools connect with mine and I knew. I knew exactly who he was. I could feel Naomi's eyes on me. I know she was thinking the same thing. Cook and Effy were watching us in confusion. Well Cook looked confused. Effy appeared to be piecing it together._

"_Micah Fitch?" My voice quivers with uncertainty as the words fall from my lips_

"_Mum?" He breaths out slowly tears pouring down his cheeks._

"_Oh fucking hell."_

**Emilys POV:**

"Mum ey?" Cook chuckles although you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. "Didn't know you had it in you Naoms congrats!" Cook was still grinning cheekily going to shake Naomi's hand when a pack of fags collided with his forehead courtesy of Effy who was starring daggers at him. "Wha? Too soon to have a laugh?"

"Oh fuck off Cook!" The words rolled off of my tongue easily.

"Wha? Just cuz I wanna know who got it in Emsy here? Let me guess J.J, yeah? Tha' dog." Cook laughs heartily.

Another pack of smokes collide with Cooks head.

"Fuckin' hell Eff!" He placed a hand on the red mark appearing on his head and turned to face the stoic girl holding a beer bottle. Fearing it could also fly out of her hands at any minute he thought it best to stay silent.

"You fucking deserved it and no I did NOT fuck J.J, yeah, … well, I mean I did but-"

Thoughts were running rampant through my brain. They twist here, curve there, and end up in a large muddled mess that I can't comprehend. But the most important thought in my mind is where is his mother? Where is Katie?

"I don't know if we should curse in front of it Ems." Naomi cuts me off in a whisper though everyone else in the room can hear.

"Oh shit sorry." I muse as I realize the mistake that I made.

"EMS!" Naomi corrects me again.

"Oh bloody hell my mother used to curse in front of us all the time. If Katies anything like my mother was he should be used to it." That was when I realize the secret that I had let slip. One that I had only divulged to Naomi three years ago.

"Wait!" Cook puts his hands on his face in shock. Clearly, he is the only one finding any amusement in this situation. "Are you meant to tell me that this is Katiekins kid?"

I simply roll my eyes at him because it's all that I can do not to punch him in the face. He looks to Naomi who looks down awkwardly. No, Naoms is never the best in awkward situations. Though she does look damn cute when she's nervous. I watch as Cook then glances to Effy as she shrugs and lights un a smoke. She inhales deeply before her eyes flick to mine. Her icy blue eyes bore into mine completely knowingly. Yes, she has known or at least suspected since Cook brought him through the door undoubtedly. Her reassuring smile comes as quickly as it disappears.

Hesitantly I turn to face the boy who hasn't moved an inch since he came in. He is staring only at me with terrified brown eyes. There's no doubt he's a good looking kid. He is, obviously, of mixed ethnicity with his medium tone completion, however the resemblance to my sister, and I is uncanny. He has the same eyes that I have. The same round face, the same button nose, and is completely and utterly faultless in this situation. Well, as far as I know but what could a kid do anyway?

Micah Fitch. He's probably almost five by now. Does he know who I am? Did Katie tell him about me? He cannot for a minute think that I am actually her, right? And where the _fuck _is Katie? I remember so vividly the last time that I saw her. It the first time I saw him. Which was consequently my last time seeing either of them.

_Three years ago_

_Two girls walked hand and hand through the streets of London. In the bitter cold they froze but they still pressed on as the wind whipped their skin._

"_Are you sure that you want to do this?" Blue eyes capture the dark brown pools of her companion. _

"_I have to. I don't know when else I'll have the chance." Emily tried to, on the surface, remain strong. She had to remain determined. She had to get some news to take back to her parents, and she had to get the truth to prove to James that Katie had not fled to work in the adult film industry. _

_The truth was that Emily's legs felt like jello. Her stomach felt like it was at her feet and her heart in her stomach, and her brain - well, it was too late to consider what her brain was telling her because before she knew in they were standing in front of the door. _

_She held the address with shaky hands. She glanced from the paper to the number on the door one, … two, … three times. _

"_Are you sure that you don't want me to go in with you?" Naomi asked as she glanced down at her girlfriend whose teeth were chattering in the cold. _

_Emily shook her head muttering a quick "I'm fine." She couldn't speak to the blonde any further that that. It would give her away. She would hear her voice falter and her words stumble. _

"_Mmmk." Naomi breathed out trying not to display the anxiety that she felt for the girl. She was also worried about what Emily was to find behind those doors. Was Katie okay after all of these years? Was she the same? And why on Gods green earth did she not keep in touch with her sister? "See that pub on the corner?" Naomi gestures to the corner two blocks down from Katies door._

_Emily nods urgently._

"_I'll be there if you need me okay? Whenever you're done, and I do mean whenever that's where I'll be." Emily nods again. _

_Naomi smiles slightly at the girl as she gives her hands a reassuring squeeze. Naomi could see in Emilys eyes that she was pleading with her not to go, but Naomi knew that she needed to do this alone. There is no coming between the Fitch twins. They have always had to work things out their own way, in their own time. _

"_I love you." Naomi mummers into Emilys lips as she places a soft kiss on them. _

"_I love you too." Emily replies gently as she watches the blonde turn and walk away._

_Not even half way down the block Naomi turns to her and gives her a broad smile. The red head cannot help thinking how much she looks like an angel in that moment. Porcelain skins against the unblemished white snow, her haunting blue eyes… yes. Naomi, her angel, would be waiting there for her no matter what. And with that last burst of courage Emily rapped on the door…_

Present Day

"Come on Cook." Effy speaks as she breezily rises from her seat, not making eye contact with anyone in the room.

"What? This is gonna be interesting!" Cook whines like a small child earning piercing glare from Effy. Her eyes are like daggers and she knows that there is no other warning that she needs to give the man-boy. With a huff he follows her downstairs and into the pub

Micah stands in place. His eyes again are focused on his shoes. What the hell do you do in this situation? What do you say?

"It's okay Ems." Naomi says beside me, although her voice is quivering like it has tendency to do. She squeezes my hand reassuringly. The same way that she had when I had gone to visit Katie in London.

Together we rise from the couch and slowly make our way over to the boy. Naomi stops half way to perch herself on the back of the couch as I kneel in front of the boy.

It takes me a second to speak. The boys eyes are now locked into my own. I can tell that we are reading each other, searching for something… or maybe just waiting for the other to break.

"Do you know who I am Micah?" I ask the boy. My voice almost comes out in a whisper as tears unwillingly stream down my cheeks. I try to blink them back. It works.

Micah nods.

"Do you know that I'm not your mother?" I ask as gently as possible. Tears begin to stream down his face as he again nods. "Do you know where your mum is Micah?" I try as the child only spoken one word since he got here.

He shakes his head no.

"Are you sure?" I smile as I feel hope rise up in my chest. He nods again. "Do you know when she's coming back?"

His eyes bore into mine trying to relay something that I can't quite make out. Oh dear lord I wish my sister was here to tell me what the hell is going on, but more importantly I wish that my sister was here so I know that she's okay.

"Micah." Our eyes had not lost contact with one another this entire time. This time I couldn't blink back the tears. "Micah- is, is your, … is your m-mum coming back?" My voice cracks over the place as I ask the question that I am terrified of the answer to.

His chin quivers as a sob breaks out of his chest and rocks his small body as he shakes his head. No.

And then I know. Nobody has to tell me. I can just feel it. Or maybe I can't. I can't feel her. Something is very, very wrong. My Katie is… or maybe she isn't. Maybe shes gone-… like, really, gone. I shatter to the floor, my body wracked with sobs. Before I know it I feel a slender arm wrap around me and I know its her. I know that she's there protecting me. Comforting me.

When my sobs soothe enough for me to lift my head I see that her arms are around the small boy too, and he is crying in her shoulder. I look at her thankfully. She plants a kiss on my lips as she strokes my cheek.

"_We'll find her_." She muses. "We'll find her, I promise."

And that I tried straight away. I tried our parents, the police, the local hospitals. Hell, I even called James. Nobody had any answers and nobody from my family picked up. I got a similar answer all around. It would have to wait until tomorrow to begin any official investigation, if one was needed at all. Somebody somewhere knows something. They must. And a feeling deep down in my gut tells me that the person I need to speak with is close to home. I have a feeling that person is my mother.

A few hours later Micah is passed out on the couch. Naomi and I are cuddled at the other end. Cook sits across from us in the large arm chair. Effy is perched in the window sill staring out into the night. The rest of us are staring at the small child asleep on the couch.

"We gonna leave him there all night?" Cook asks after a minute

I look to Naomi uncertainly. She obviously had not thought of this matter either. Where is he supposed to sleep?

"The closet's always nice…" Effy mutters dropping her leg from the window and returning fully to the room to join us. "Or the bathtub."

"Bathtub?" Naomi questions cocking her eye brows.

Effy gives a quick nod.

"Kids love sleeping in the tub. I did… Temperature is good down there. It's nice and dark and cool." She considers aloud.

Sometimes Effy speaks as if shes talking to no one. It is almost as if she does it to simply proclaim, in the most understated manner, a little piece of the intricate puzzle that makes up her complex, tormented, psyche. Like she's surrendering a little part of herself to the universe to simply let the knowledge exist in space. I don't dare imagine Effy as a child and the hell she undoubtedly put her parents through. The little beautiful brown haired girl who could hex you with her lingering eyes.

"Well I guess it's all settled then! The little man can sleep in the sack with me, and Eff can take the tub!" Cook proclaims grabbing the spliff from Effys mouth whilst she was mid-drag. He takes a low drag himself before passing it back to her. "I don' mind none."

"Like hell I'm letting my nephew sleep in bed with you!"

Nephew? That word sounded weird. I have a nephew… I am currently responsible for a nephew, … maybe. A child. I am currently, maybe, responsible for a child. Well for tonight I am anyway, and I would die before I would allow him to sleep next to James Cook in a bed that him and Effy had committed ungodly atrocities in.

"What, why not? It'd be like a campout! Used to do it with my brother all the time!" Cook beams shifting down in his chair.

"Cuz cookie when the pedophile police show up tomorrow morning you wont be cookie monster anymore you'll look like cookie molester on account of the fact that is the same boy a neighbor saw you bring inside naked this afternoon." Naomi rambles quickly "And besides." She adds with a smirk. " 'long's it been since you washed your sheets?"

Cook chuckles heartily.

"Ain't got no sheets sweet cheeks."

"Exactly." Naomi glances at him and Effy. "When's the last time you washed the mattress then after snogging-"

"Point." Effy breaks in before Naomi can go any further

Cook smirks. He opens and closes his mouth but is at a complete and utter loss for words. He holds his hands up in surrender.

"We'll get sheets for it then." He says turning to Effy who's focused on her dying spliff.

"No." She responds easily. She allows the smoke to escape her mouth as she speaks. "We'll burn it."

And that was the last thing that she said before rising, exchanging small smiles with Emily and I and heading to her bedroom.

"Well." Cook exclaims slapping his hands on the arms of the chair before rising to his feet. "If it's gittin' burnt anyway one more atrocity wont hurt will it?" He gives a quick pelvic thrust for good measure before chasing after Effy in the bedroom.

If it were anyone else I would be disgusted. But I'm used to it. I let my eyes fall back to the sleeping child at the opposite end of the couch. I wonder to myself what will happen tomorrow. I know that the same questions are running through Naomi's head, but she's not voicing them. She's just being here. I'll appreciate that more that she'll ever know.

"I can sleep out here, you can sleep in our bed with him if you want. I don't mind." Naomi assures me.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." I admit.

"Why not?" Naomi asks questioning, not challenging me.

"I just- I just don't want him to wake up next to me and think that even for a moment I'm her…yanno?" The confession rattles me. This situation is tough enough. This child's mother is lord knows where.

I feel like I am about to break. And I know that Naomi can sense it.

"But he shouldn't sleep somewhere unfamiliar and alone- and, but… I just want you near me-" I continue before she cuts me off she grabs the back of my neck firmly but gently and turns my face to her own.

"Okay, okay." She pulls me into a hug as I once again crumble into her chest.

I feel as if I'm on a rollercoaster. It's smooth at points and then turns, and drops, and spins you upside down, and it is completely, and utterly exhausting.

"He can sleep in our bed and I'm going to sleep on the floor with you. He'll see us first thing. It's settled." She states

"But-" I begin to protest before she again stops me this time pressing her lips to mine.

"It's settled."

At this point I don't have the energy to argue. Awkwardly I rise and lift Micah from the couch and Naomi follows us into our room. Gently as possible I place him on the bed, which was compensation for almost allowing his head to collide with the doorframe on the way in. Naomi pulls back the sheets as I slip him under them.

"Goodnight bud."

I want to kiss him on the cheek, or stroke his hair, or soothe him as Katie might have… but I don't know how. I can feel Naomi come behind me and wrap her arms around my waist. Her lips gently flutter across my neck magically easing my nerves, … somewhat.

"I'll love you forever." She confesses is a moment of sincerity. I hear her words and I know she means them. And I believe that she does… for now. Tomorrow may change everything… but all that we can do now is wait…

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**Hey guys! Thanks for all of the reviews and story alerts, it always means a lot to hear back so that was cool. I dont really like though how these stories end up getting formatted, are there other options that let you indent and stuff?**

**I plan on the some of the other characters having significant storylines as well.  
**

**Again let me know about the Effy/Freddie/Cook thin. And what you want to happen with Katie, just flashbacks or here and now?  
**

**Also, let me know about your interest in whose POV its coming from. Next one will again be Emily, and then I already have chapter 4 written as Effy..**. **Either way this is pretty much figured out start to finish, I just want to know where the most interest lies along the way. **

**R&R!**

**Take it easy,**

**Two Hands Two Feet**

**~* chapter title song : _Cannibal Resource _by the _Dirty Projectors*~_  
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	3. Too Young To Be Singin the Blues

**Hey guys! Back with another chapter. Thank you all so much for your reviews and alerts. So glad people are taking a liking to this. Please read and review!**

**3 Two hands two feet**

**Disclaimer: ... yeah I wish.  
**

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Chapter 3: "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"**

_**This Boy's Too Young to Be Singing the Blues**_

**Emily's POV:**

"Ems." … silence "EMS!" … "EMILY!"

I sharp jab to my side finally brought me out of my reverie. But maybe reverie wasn't the word for it. A reverie is a day dream, a constant thought or alternate place. I've just been good old fashioned spaced out.

"What?" I say suddenly turning to face the blue eyes that bore into me just a mere few meters away.

We had taken the bus out of the run down wet Bristol streets where Cooks Uncles pub, and our house is, and back to the family home where I had grown up. Naomi has been patient with me. You see, we've been sitting on the curb on the opposite side of the street for about ten minutes now. Rain clouds however are hovering about us, threatening to spill. Ironic, yeah?

When have I ever been this much of a pansy? I paved out a good life for myself, I have an amazing girlfriend and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about it- I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I've always been a jumper, no nonsense… except when it involves Katie.

Naomi rises from the street and turns to face me with her arm extended.

"I think its about time we do this." She proclaims firmly, but with a crooked smile.

God I love that crooked smile.

"Besides," She continues as she pulls me to my feet so I am just inches from her face. "I don't think that we should leave that kid alone too long with Cook and Effy yeah?" She adds the last part with a twinkle in her eye, but she does have a point.

"Alright then. Let's do this." I straighten my skirt, and adjust my sloppy ponytail the best that I can as surprisingly it is Naomi who leads me to the door.

"You look beautiful." She places a chaste kiss on my lips before pressing the buzzer.

We wait a second before we hear shuffling from the other side of the door. I can feel my heart practically beating through my chest. Simply having Naomi by my side makes it better.

As the door yanks open we both step back hesitantly. I hadn't seen anyone from my family in three years. Though we all live in Bristol I realize that Katie was what had tied me to them. She had a good relationship with our mum, so I had to try to have a good relationship with mum and so on. Nothing however could have expected me for what I would see behind this door.

"Emily?"

A much more grown up James Fitch greets me. He must be what, almost eighteen by now? No doubt he and his friends must have wreaked havoc in college the same as my friends had and as I heard Effy's brother Tony and so many before him had.

Swiftly he pulls me into a hug and allows his hands to roam my back as he rubs his chest against mine.

"Get off me you wanker!" I scream at the boy pushing him back and promptly slapping him on the side of the skull.

"Fuck Em's. You didn't have to hit me!" He bellows grimacing as he grips the side of his head.

I survey the boy. He has a spliff hanging from his lips and he's clad in his boxers and a pair of yellow socks. His hair is still shaggy and blonde, and he still had the same baby face that my sister and I had as well. Our faces never seemed to chisel out in the way that our mother and fathers did.

"What are you doin' here?" He asks still blocking the doorway.

I don't answer him but simply push my way through the door dragging Naomi behind me. Nothing in the house had changed since I moved out. It was still perfect and pristine. Jenna Fitch would have it no other way. My heart lurches seeing the photos that adorn the walls. All of us, in much happier times. Times before my family knew that I was gay, and before Katie up and walked out on us. On me.

It would have seemed that if there was one to break away it would have been me. I was always under her control and I just knew that one day I would break out. But what I hadn't anticipated was that she would be the one to leave me. She loved me. I know that she did, … and she needed me, even if it was just as an accessory. She needed me. Since she's been gone I've realized how much I need her too.

Naomi and I hull into the living room, James in tow.

"Where's mum and dad?" I demand.

"On holiday in Spain. What's this about?" James says casually. He keeps glancing up the stairs.

"Fuck." I sink onto the couch and rest my head in my hands. That is the worst timing ever. "When did they leave?" I ask

"Jus' this morning." James informs me.

"How long are they going to be gone?"

My eyes meet my little brother who seems to want to care, but is oddly distracted as he puffs his spliff.

"Two months." He said easily with a shrug

"TWO MONTHS?" Naomi practically screamed from the corner.

"Yeah, and I got the house while they're gone." James beams. "A revolving door of fanny it now is." He beams proudly. I look up at him incredulously. "Wha? I thought that was your thing." Not realizing an error in anything he was saying, or his general lack of tact.

I throw myself back on the couch so I am completely slumped down and doing nothing to support my own body.

"You heard from her James?" I finally ask looking up to meet his eye.

"Who mum?" He asks cocking a brow at me.

"Don't be daft JameS! No, KATIE! You know, your other sister, looks something like ME?" I scream at him.

James' face drop. He knows something. He begins awkwardly scratching the side of his neck.

"What about Micah? You know him?" I can feel my body raising from the couch although I am not doing it consciously. "JAMES!"

"I don't know!" He said furiously still rubbing his neck

Before I know it I am across the room at him. I strike at him, I feel my hand connect with flesh but I don't know what I've gotten.

"Emily!" Naomis voice is alarmed but she stays in place

James is on the ground now. My hand is clenching a fist full of his hair.

"FUCK EMILY! Let me go!" James pleads. Suddenly I feel 16 again.

"Just please." I beg releasing him "Just tell me what you know."

I can see that he is conceding. I can see that he is about to break.

"Katie showed up here a couple a' weeks ago." He begins looking anywhere but at me. You can cut the tension in the room with a knife. "She was real messed up. Strung out and what not. Didn't have money or anything. Had her kid with her." He met Emily's eyes now.

My mind flies to Micah. The little boy that anything could be happening to right now in the hands of my best friends, who are running an open pub at the moment.

"Yeah?" I urge him to continue. "Then what?"

"Well mum freaked of course, but she brought her in. Katie stayed the night, up in your old room. Nobody's been in there in years. She'd said something about just stopping through. She said that she needed to go see some friends. She was going to stay with them awhile and get herself right. Said she had a job lined up and everythin'. Seemed proper excited if you ask me."

Why hadn't she come to me? I cant help my mind from reeling. Why wont she let me help her?

"Well what happened?" I question dying to know why Katies child is now with me and she is nowhere to be found.

"She was gone by morning. Left Micah here." James finishes "Well all woke up and she was just gone."

I hadn't realized that Naomi has crept across the room and is now standing beside me.

"How did Micah end up with us then?" Naomi asks, her brow cocked.

"Mum." James explains. "Seems she's all done raisin' children. That's wha she said at least." He shrugs. "Apparently shes under the impression that she fucked it up horribly."

Well there may be a point there. Katie's just disappeared for six years comes back to drop off her kid and disappears again. James, well lord knows what he's up to these days but judging on the state he's in right now he's less than a parents dream. And me, well, my mother had always thought of my gayness as an affliction. And thus you have it, the Fitch children, we would sure be any parents "pride and joy".

It had all started out better. When Katie and I were the little "identical" brown eyes children in little matching dresses that played so well with each other. James was an angel faced blonde haired boy that had all of the other moms wrapped around his fingers. It was all so sweet, so innocent, until we opened our mouths and started talking that is.

Suddenly a voice rings out from up above.

"Jamesy poo!" It sing songs

I look to my brother who was now adjusting his package in his boxers. Then there are footsteps and another voice.

"You said we were coming back to bed." The other voice whines. "We've been having to keep ourselves entertained."

The voices dripped slut. And even with that as a warning I wasn't prepared for when two girls, fully naked fanny and all, round the corner into our living room. I look away towards Naomi whose eyes are locked on the naked females.

"And who the fuck are they?" The blonde asks shooting James a venomous glare.

"Not to worry Clarissa-"

"JAL-issa!" The girl quickly corrects him.

"Jalissa, right." James quickly corrects himself. "This is jus' my big sis and her girlfriend." He gestures to Naomi and I

The naked brunette, standing next to the naked blonde, neither shamed by their nudity might I add, look us up and down.

"Lezzas?" The brunette states more than asks.

"Hot." The blonde, who is practically eye fucking Naomi finishes for her.

"Pheobe, Larissa-" James begins

"JALISSA!" The whore corrects him again

"Right. Wait for me upstairs will you?" James ushers the girls away

"We're going now." I say suddenly grabbing Naomi's hand as we haul toward the door, James trailing at our heels the naked bimbos watch from the stairs.

"Come back again yeah?" He says. I can tell though my back is to him that his voice is hopeful. I turn in the doorway to face my brother. "I'm sorry- had I known you were stopping by-" He tries to back pedal.

"I'll be through." I speak before turning on my heels and heading down the walk. Though I said those words I'm not to sure whether or not I mean them. This is all too much to process.

Just yesterday I thought that I had my life in order. I was just living, no pressure, no consequence. I could do whatever I wanted and have no one to consider other than Naomi. I don't even have two pennies to rub together and that was okay. They money that we got from the pub went to supplies, and pills, and spliff. I can say honestly that for the first time in a long time I am scared.

"What the fuck was that?" Naomi asks grabbing onto my arm to stop my from speed walking ahead of her.

She rests her hands on her knees to catch her breath. I realize suddenly that we had practically ran down the walk of our house and had been hauling ass since. I just could not be there anymore.

"I-…" I pause also trying to catch my breath. My chest was tight. No lung capacity. Too much spliff. And too many fags for Naoms. "I donno." I am finally able to finish as I catch a bit of breath.

We sit together slumped at the bus stop trying to process what has happened. Neither one of us speaks. I know that Naomi probably has some thoughts, or something that she wants to say at the very least, but I know that she is letting me work through this. For now at least.

When we arrive outside of pub there are a few people outside having a smoke, but other than that it seems like a pretty steady night. Naomi is the first to enter, I follow behind. It is taking everything in me to keep going. One foot in front of the other.

"HEY!" A voice that could only belong to Cook booms at us as we enter the pub "Bout time." He said cheekily.

I notice then Micah is sitting on the bar next to Cook with an empty pint in his hand. Also, grinning from ear to ear.

"Micah- another!" Effy tells the boy as she rounds the back of the bar.

He nods eagerly before yanking down the draft and tilting the pint glass at the perfect angle so the beer pours down smoothly. No foam. I silently watch this routine they seem to have fallen in since we've been gone.

"Kid's a natural." Effy greets us wiping her hands on her apron with a smile. "Doesn't make bad tips either." She adds tussling the small boys head who looks at her with pure adoration.

"You realize that you're violating all sorts of labor laws right?" Naomi speaks as she takes a seat at the bar. I slid in hesitantly beside her as my eyes fall on the boy sitting happily on the bar. His hands slick with beer.

Effy shrugs as she goes to serve a few drunks in the corner who are eyeing her like a piece of meat.

"Nah- Uncle Keith had me servin' draft in diapers. It's family business you see. Who better take it over than family yeah?" Cook grins eagerly

"Cook!" I warn.

"Think about it Ems. It's like Cookie and Cookie dough! Bread to take over. I mean it's not like I'm ever procreating,"

"Thank god!" I hear Naomi mumble

"…and well you two, there's no biology behind it and I'm not trustin' anythin' that comes outta Effs-"

"Fuck off." Effy breaks in rejoining the group shooting her on again off again plaything a glare.

Cook turns to the boy who is swinging his legs happily on the edge of the bar, grasping a pint glass eager to pour another beer.

"Two more for Naoms and Em's ey Micahkins?" Cook ushers the boy who is beaming up at him as well

I could vomit at the fact Cook had just referenced that child twice in five minutes with two nick names one of which being Cookie dough. Naomi looks equally horrified yet amused. She looks to me hesitantly as Effy places the pints, poured courtesy of Micah, in front of us.

"Fuck it, I need a drink anyway." Micah watches me, eyes wide, as I down the entire thing. He looks at me approvingly. He has a glimmer in his eyes I don't know well enough to discern its meaning. But he smiled at me. That's a good start yeah?

"Micah, is this what you did all day with Cook and Effy here?" Naomi questions the boy. He nods excitedly.

"He poured the drafts, and wiped the tables, and flirted with some old bags didn't ya mate?" Cook chided the boy giving him an enthusiastic high five. Again, he just nodded enthusiastically.

Micah. Another nod… I can feel eyes on me. I turn my head to catch Effy's gaze. I know that she knows what I am contemplating. She validates the answer to the question that I haven't voiced.

"Hasn't said a word all day." And with that she grabs a tray goes to attend to all of the other patrons.

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**Next chapter will be Effy and should be posted mid-week! After that chap the story gets a little lighter as everyone falls into a routine. A lot of this is written at this point which is really cool. Also we'll get a visit from some gen. 1 and more Naomily. Shoot a review and let me know what you think, its super motivating to hear people thoughts and all that jazz! Thanks for you feedback as always! You're all lovely.**

**3 two hand to feet.  
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	4. Enjoy the Silence

**So hey there, sorry about the unintentional hiatus. No excuse. Honestly ... so hopefully you'll all forgive me. I hope that this is worth the wait. Im pretty clear on where I am taking this, though it pretty much disregards my initial intentions haha. I do greatly appreciate the reviews, alerts, and favs. It's always cool to know when someone is into the work you're doing so a humble thanks. I wrote this chapter over and over hoping that it was worth the wait, so here's to hoping! (if all else fails at least next ones Naomis pov ;) )**

**This chap: micah effy love, and the return of a series 1 member**

**Uh... im not sure i should mention that i've kinda gotten thrown on the Keffy bandwagon. Ha uh oh.**

**On a separate note, E. Timmers. It was simple and motivating. Thanks ;).**

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**Chapter 4: Enjoy the Silence**

_**Words like violenceBreak the silenceCome crashing inInto my little worldPainful to mePierce right through meCan't you understandOh my little girl**_

**Effy's POV:**

I watch him. He's spent most days with me of late. Cooks been tied up with the suddenly booming business of the pub, and Emily and Naomi have been on the mission to find Katie, understandably so. So far they've come up empty. So Micah and I spend these afternoons left up to our own devices. There are worse things really. The kid is not bad company.

"Want blue?" I offer the boy a crayon who shakes his head eagerly. His picture is of space, from what I can discern. Some far off place with stereotypical aliens and rocket ships that blaze through the solar system.

Looking at him picture I know not to worry. I know that we are not the same. His silence, and my silence had come from two different places. His pictures we dreamy and dark yet innocent. No yet tainted, or contorted, or demented.

When I was a child I didn't draw with bright sunny colors. I always knew better because those colors didn't exist in my world. The nymphs and princesses and knights in shining armor that all of the other little girls drew were things that I knew nothing of. In my head it was just demons, and spirits, and bad bad men who wanted to hurt me. They howled and cackled, their voices always at the forefront of my everything. So I did what I could to shut them out. And I shut the rest of the world out. And then I just focused…

I watch him, a little more closely than anyone else does. Somewhere along the way he's come to constantly remain at my side. I can see, can read, that it bothers Emily. She has too much other stuff to deal with. I know that Naomi wants to get to know him better but it too preoccupied with keeping Emily from shattering. It's fine for now though. We've always been like that, the group of us. We have always kind of picked up where the others leave off.

We sit together on the floor of our flat and color. He hangs his drawing all over my bedroom. The way that they are haphazardly strewn about and splayed this way and that reminds me of the display I had left on my mothers wall in my manic state. I cant help but adore the complete contrast.

"Want to go to the park?" I ask the little boy. He beams up at me. Fitch eyes with anticipation. "Alright then, grab your jumper." I direct the boy

Minutes later we are out the door. Hand in hand we walk down the rainy streets. I am careful to blow the smoke from my spliff away from him but he doesn't seem to mind. The sky is grey and overcast above us. He is splashing in puddles as we go causing the water to splash up my fishnet clad thighs. I don't mind.

I release his hand as we arrive at the park. He immediately jets off to the swings… in the opposite direction of the other children. It's been two weeks since he's been with us, and he still hasn't said a word or made any effort to actively interact with anyone.

With a deep breath I inhale the last of my spliff before tossing it to the ground beside the bench where I sit.

"He your's?" I hear a voice say next to me.

Agitated I turn to face a woman in her mid thirties who took a seat right beside me. Hell I must look like a train wreck to a woman like that. I feel my gaze penetrate past my black eye makeup as they fix on the womans own, daring her to speak to me.

She is judging me. Her eyes start trailing me from the thin points on the heels of my boot, up a fishnet clad leg, to what loosely resembles a t-shirt, to the buttons on my leather jacket before finally reaching my eyes. Her glare should slice me top to bottom, start to finish, as if it were a dull bladed knife slowly driven up my skin. But that would mean id have to care.

"Yes." I lie. I don't know why. This woman doesn't know me. And for this poor kid there are worse things at this moment than being claimed.

"He's adorable." She speaks. I can tell that she is watching more the way that he is apart from the group, playing by himself. "He's very independent isn't he?" She attempts to assess.

"Mmm." Is all I gave as my response as I tilt my head down to shield the wind and light a smoke.

"I figure he's rather lucky. Better to learn to keep to yourself while your young rather than letting people fuck you over all your life." I look back at the woman now. Curious as to what she is getting at. "How old is he?" She presses, not taking the hint I would rather slit my wrists than speak with her.

"Almost five." Even I can hear my voice come out low and raspy.

"Should be starting school in a couple of weeks then yeah?" I can tell that this mom is too tightly wound. I nod in response making a mental note to relay that information to Emily and Naomi. "So four yeah? Well you can't be a day over 18 if its not to bold of me to say." She puts on a fake chipper smile.

"It is." I bark at her as my eyes turn back to Micah who was swinging forlornly. "Shame dads still locked on those statutory rape charges, I guess his wife wasn't too happy."

The womans jaw hit's the ground and she scoffs before standing up to scurry back to a group of mothers standing in a circle. They keep glancing back and forth at me. Bored, old, sad excuses of women.

I let her think that she has something to talk about. Ill let her think that she has gotten under my skin. Because she has no idea.

I rise to leave and as Micah sees me do so he runs right to me and hand in hand we head away from the playground, across the way to where a little bench sits overlooking a pond. This place is far more secluded, far more preferable for my taste.

"Why don't you speak?" I ask the boy pointedly.

He sits beside me with his hands folded in his lap. He doesn't seem to mind as the wind whips his light brown hair or bites his cheeks. He also doesn't respond.

"I didn't speak when I was your age either." I am careful not to look at him as the words fall from my lips. I try to not pressure him… I remember what it was like to be in his position. I can feel his eyes wander up to me filled with curiosity. Still careful not to look at him I continue. "Infact I didn't speak until I was fourteen years old to anyone except for my big brother. He knew all of my secrets without me having to say a word still though." I explain turning to face the boy now pointedly.

Micah turns away from me and fixes his eyes firmly on the pond before him.

"How?" His voice came after a brief silence. "How did he know your secrets?"

I have to hold back a smirk when I hear him speak, although it shocked me. He looks up at me with big brown eyes full of wonder.

"Was he magic?" He breathes out. His voice come out low and crisp as the wind whips his curls.

"I believe he is." I tell the boy in all honesty, shooting him a quick wink.

My brother is a god amongst men. There has always been something about him, something unmatched by any force. From the beginning he was different. From the beginning I was different. And we had each other. That's the way it's always been… but I did blame him- albeit however unwarranted, for things out of his control.

As a child I had wished that Tony could see them too. That he could see the ghosts and demons that would fly above us as we ran about with their shadows in the sky. They threatened to swoop down and carry us away at any moment. But he was unconcerned. Why didn't he care? Why didn't he cower under their stare, and why didn't the hair on his arms stand up when their hot breath beat down on our necks?

"Do you know my mum?"

The question takes me by surprise. Micah looks at me apprehensively, … although most people would not be able to denote that feeling.

"Yeah." My hands begin to involuntarily tremble as I reach for my fags. I pull one to my lips and inhale deeply. My hands tremble a little less. "I knew her."

Micah just nods seemingly eased by this affirmation as I extend my arm out to him. Secretly I am happy that he is satisfied by my answer for now. I don't think that I am strong enough to go back to those times.

"Come on." I urge him gently as he takes my hand with ease. "Lets go home then."

"So." I ask as he bounces out of the park beside me. "This mean you're talking now?" I quirk a brow at him.

He seems to contemplate my question for a moment, and then shrugs as he grasps my hands tighter. I guess that small gesture is my answer.

I feel eyes on us as we walk past the playground again. The group of women who apparently had nothing better to do we again standing there gawking. Casually, fag in hand I flip them off… much to my surprise Micah follows suit.

"Hey." I scold him, barely hiding my amusement. Not that I actually give two shits about who the kid flicks off but because I assume that's what any reasonable adult would have done. Though I guess any reasonable adult wouldn't have been the first to raise the finger. He looks back at me with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and the again fixes his gaze forward.

Well well well. Micah Fucking Fitch.

We enter the pub to see that Emily and Naomi are already back and waiting for us.

"Have fun?" Emily asks Micah happily as I lift him on the booth across from Emily before sliding in myself.

Micah nods at Emily's question as Cook slams down four plates in front of us.

Yup, he's gone quiet again.

"Veggie burger for Ems, chicken fingers for Eff, grilled cheese for cookie dough, and a burger for Naomikins, hold the bun, hold the dressings, hold the meat." Cook grinned down at us.

"You mean a salad?" She corrects him. With a grin he turns away. Naomi looks down skeptically at her plate before looking back up at me. "What'd you guys do today?"

"Went to the park." I shrugged, "drew some pictures, shared spliff with some mom on a park bench."

They both nod uncritically, although I can see wheels turning in Naomi's head. If I were her I would have burst already. She has been so firm and supportive and chivalrous by Emily's side. I would have walked away. It would be much simpler.

After we eat Micah goes upstairs with Emily and Naomi to get changed up for bed. Cook has long chased after some floozy lord knows where and it's just me in the bar. Just the way that I like it.

I grab the first bottle of hard liquor I can find. Tequila. Why not? I make a game with myself. A shot for every time I have to pick up a chip that's been discarded on the floor. If there's not enough chips around to get me proper drunk I'll do a shot for every stray peanut that I find.

These are how my nights go. The nights when I am alone. Otherwise my mind drifts back to another time. It was a time when all of us were together. Even if we weren't all happy we gave one another a weird sense of calm. Cook acts like he doesn't miss JJ and Freddie. They were the three musketeers, but it all seems so long ago doesn't it?

Panda and I still talk occasionally. I've had a hard time picking up her calls. It's the buzzing, it doesn't stop, it drives me crazy. Sometimes I can hear that buzzing when no ones calling. Nobody is on the other end. It's just me… But then again I guess that I hear a lot of things that other people don't hear.

I watch Micah, I understand why he's silent. What's the use in speaking, telling anyone anything, letting on what you know? It's not going to change anything. It's not going to promise that his mum is going to come home or that we're all going to get our acts together.

The way that they look at him is the way they looked at me. They wonder if he's "okay" whatever that means. He's just fine. He's learning, and he's growing, just in a different way. He watches, and perceives, and analyzes, and he knows. He knows the truth about what happened to his mum.

Bang, bang, bang. I hear on the door. I look around. It's just me in the pub, but I guess I already know that. Bang, bang, bang! The noise goes again. I take another swig of my Tequila before I cautiously, not as cautiously as others would, but cautiously make my way to the door. I can feel my balance waver as I grab onto the booths lining the isles for support.

I hastily pull out my key half expecting to be greeted by Cook with a black eye, or busted lip. A huddled mass pushes its way past me and into the bar. Shivering and slick with rain I step back to survey the intruder.

"Jesus Eff, it take you long enough?"

The figure stands fully at attention now, and towers over me to reveal its none other than

"…Tony?"

I am almost sobered by his face.

"Ey train wreck." He greets me as I feel myself fling into his arms before I can think better of it. My body is immediately drenched in the rain from outside.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, still in shock as he strips off his sopping coat.

"Mum was worried. Hasn't heard from you in awhile."

He dries his face before turning to me fully. His blue eyes match mine. His face is so set and firm. Nobody knows but I have always been in awe of my brother… and everyone had always been in awe of us. Tony and Effy Stonem.

Tony is the only one in my life left that can really scare me. He knows too much.

"Fancy a drink?" I ask him cooly as I slide around the back of the bar, which I have to hold onto for support seeing how im a good six shots in.

"Sure." He concedes as he slides onto the stool. He is now facing me fully again, and staring me up and down almost sympathetically.

I grab two glasses, scoop them full of ice, and then very liberally fill them with rum.

"Can you drink with your meds Eff?"

Tony places his palm over the rim of my glass. I clench the base in my hand. Firmly. I pull it towards me, with ease he pulls it back towards him. The glass lands somewhere in the middle. I let my eyes flick up to find his and realize that they are already on me.

Two pairs of blue eyes in a standoff.. A battle of wills so to speak.

"What the fuck are you doing her Tony?" I question hating the way that my voice falters.

"I was worried."

His eyes burn intensely into my own, and mine burn back refusing to tire. The sound that escapes my lips is something more of a cackle than a laugh.

"Yeah?" I cock a brow. Solid. "It's a little late Tone."

And with that I release the glass before spinning on my heel and grabbing the entire bottle from the rail. I feel his eyes on me as I saunter up the stairs. I raise the bottle to my lips as I take the first step and I know that my stride can _. not _. _falter_. because Freddie disappeared, Katie went missing, and I went mental and he never came back.

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**Wont be so long a wait next time. I should probably spend more time writing than at the bar... that'll be my "mid new year" resolution. More soon. Next up Naomi... then Katie or Emily... or Micah... yeah...**

**3 two hands two feet.**


	5. At my Heels

**This chapter is more of a "set up" I would say than a filler, but i hope that you enjoy it nevertheless. You're reviews, and alerts, and favs really mean a lot so thanks for taking the time. More soon!**

**Two hands two feet.**

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**Chapter 5: At My Heels**

_**I'm in the belly of a canyon**_

_**I can't come up with any reason**_

**Naomi's POV:**

I don't do confusion. I cannot cope with uncertainty, and I cannot watch others- namely people that I care about suffer. Those are three things that I know. Everything else is just grey. In fact everything's been a little grey of late.

My body aches as I pull myself out of bed. Unwillingly I happen to catch a glance of myself in the mirror. _Fucks sake Naomi. _I breath out as I take in my appearance. I don't know when the last time is that I have gotten a good nights sleep, or showered, or had a real meal even. Effy had offered to "sort my roots" because according to her it had "become a situation."

Emily lays still, beside where I had just been. Her body is curled into a little ball. She always sleeps like that. As I watch her sleep I try not to think about how unbelievably cute it is the way her nose twitches, or how beautiful her hair looks splayed about the pillow… or how her shirt rising up just above her navel make me want to wake her up_ savagely. _

Going with my better judgment I let her sleep. Lord knows she's had enough sleepless nights, constantly worried about her sister.

_Three years ago: London_

_Naomi kept her eyes fixed out of the window and up the street where she had left Emily almost and hour ago. Her hands grip her pint so tight that her knuckles go white. Maybe I shouldn't have left her? She thinks. But deep down she knows that this was something that Emily had to do alone, but it didn't kill her any less. Besides they were sisters, the infamous Fitch twins, how horrible could it go?_

_With no other option left to relieve the stress, the pints really hadn't done their jobs, Naomi pushes her way outside into the friid air. It really did look rather beautiful. Glancing back up the street that's when she saw it, saw her. She, Emily, was headed towards her in a jog. Dropping the fag Naomi sprints up to her. _

_Naomi can feel her world shatter as their bodies collide, because Emily looked broken, and their worlds are one and the same. They've gone to far to have it any other way. Wracked with sobs Emily sank down onto the snow covered street, taking Naomi with her. _

"_Emily, EMS!" Naomi raises her chin to see the girl eye to eye. And the minute they met the brown pools and the tear stained face Naomi knew that something was very, very, wrong._

_And without warning, Emily's lips come crashing down upon her own as the snow falls around them, oblivious to the storm brewing within them. _

**Current Day**

On my way downstairs I check on Micah who is sleeping soundly on one end of the couch, Effy is passed out on the other. I guess that just means that Cook has taken hostage of their room with last nights girl. Should've known as much. I heard some girl through the wall last night, figured it wasn't Eff though. When Cooks with Effy hes much, much louder. I have to smile to myself at that thought… or maybe I should cringe.

Since I'm the only one up I guess I'm on breakfast duty. Toast with Jam for Micah and Ems, Cocoa Puffs for Cook, and coffee, black, for Eff. Have I mentioned I'm a miserable cook?

I begin my descent downstairs and am surprised to find that I can already smell coffee brewing. Maybe Cook is up after all. But no, I round the corner to find my self face to face with a very unfamiliar man who seems to have made himself right at home.

"Excuse me can I help you?" My voice not masking any annoyance.

Shit idea to leave Eff to lock up. She does tend to "have a few drinks" as she puts it, which actually means a bottle of something hard distracted and leave the lock. This isn't the first time that we've woken up to someone making themselves welcome to the pub. But something seemed different about this man. Something was familiar.

"Oh hey." He wipes his hands on the apron that he's wearing. "I'm Tony." He extends his now clean hand to me. Hesitantly I take it. "I'm Effy's older brother." He explains. Suddenly the icy blue eyes, killer smile, and the fact that he initially gave me the creeps all make sense.

"Right..." I nod. "I'm Naomi." I offer when I get my hand back. "I live upstairs, same as Effy."

I watch as he makes pours two cups of coffee one for him and one for me I assume and makes himself comfortable. Sit the extra coffee at the bar beside him and then looks to me expectantly. Seems like Effy he's not much for words.

"So." I begin turning to face him fully as he does me. "what may I ask are you doing at our pub at this hour of the morning?"

He turns to face forward now, eliciting a chuckle that rattles his shoulder and his face breaks out into a grin.

"Been here since last night." He explains. "Eff let me in."

"I see." I try to process the information.

I look this _Tony _up and down. He's far more clean cut than Eff sporting a crisp polo and khaki trousers and all. He has nice shoes too. Nicer than any I ever had.

"So she knows you're here?"

"Yes. Though I don't think that she is too fond of the idea."

Effy never really talks about her older brother, not that she talks about much of anything at all. I know that she was close to her mum for a bit after her breakdown, but after Freds she seemed to lose it again.

"Why is that?" I ask him directly

He sighs leaning back on his stool. Even when he's trying to humble himself he looks a little arrogant, but I can tell he's not. It's just the way he looks.

"I figure she can't forgive me. For not coming back and all when she yanno….went mental." Tony hesitantly looked toward me than flicked his eyes back down to his coffee.

` Growing up I thought it rather lonely being an only child. But now I look at Katie and Emily, and Effy and Tony, and wonder if I got the better end of the deal.

"Morning." A tired but perfectly cheery, perfectly husky voice greets me.

"Morning Em's." I turn to her with a smile as she places a gentle kiss on my lips. Micah is perched in his boxers on her back. "Morning Mic." I kiss the top of his head as well.

Emily sets him atop the bar and then heads to the back to grab coffee.

"Em's, this is Tony, Effy's brother."

She looks so incredibly sexy. Her hair is tussled upon her head and her sleep shirt hangs crookedly off her shoulder. Her deep brown eyes as bright as ever. She's beautiful.

"Hey." Emliy greets Tony before rejoining us. "And this is Micah." She places a plate of toast down in front of the boy. "He's not much of a talker."

Tony looks the boy up and down. Surprisingly Micah does the same thing, appraising the man before him.

"Should pair him up with Eff." Tony said eyeing Micah once more before turning to Emily and myself.

Micah is sitting directly in front of Emily on top of the bar with his feet perched on her knees. She doesn't seem to mind though. I do think that she is beginning to genuinely love the boy, though he is completely silent. Who knows though, a silent kid could be a parents dream. Lord knows my mum would've died and gone to heaven if one day I'd up and stopped talking.

"Why's that?" Emily asks, clutching her mug between her hands

"Effy didn't speak until she was fourteen."

"What?" Emily and I exclaim at the same time.

"Ya done yet Tone?" Surprise, surprise, Effy chooses that moment to make her entrance. I cant help but look between the two. Their eyes challenging one another knowingly.

"Fourteen Eff?" I couldn't help but press. She just shrugs as she rounds the bar as Emily had just done to get a cup of coffee. "Holy fuck." I breathe out when there is an urgent knock on the door.

Emily looks at me skeptically. Everyone that we talk to is pretty much in this one room. Save Cook but it's safe to deduce he's upstairs in bed, or if he is out he'd have his key at the very least. With a groan and a subconscious eye roll I hoist myself off of the stool and head to the door.

I pull open the door, and am suddenly blinded. Yes. **Blinded**. By what you ask? I'm not quite sure. Gold metallic leggings, a cropped belly shirt, embellished leather jacket, and flair. Oh yeah, did I mention flair?

"What the fuck are you?" I reckon it could have come out nicer. She was just a little… shocking.

"What the fuck are you?" She answers back as she crosses her arm leans back on one heel and looks me head to toe. I cannot help but be taken aback by her accent.

I cross my arms then as well. But she looks fierce. I just look plain scrappy.

"Can I help you? Pubs not open till two today."

"Cook here?" Her stance waning.

Cook. Of course.

"He's asleep." I answer dumbly

"I'll wait." She pushes past me and heads into the pub. It's only then do I realize she's not alone.

"Hi." The other person, girl, … I guess if you use that term loosely, raises her hand slowly. "I'm Franky." She smiles genuinely enough. "That was Mini."

"Right." I turn to let her in as well. At this point the more the merrier. "Naomi." I say as she breezes past me. Shoulder pads blazing. She slides in beside the other girl who has made herself comfortable in a booth.

They sit beside one another and I couldn't help but be surprised when this Mini chick places a kiss on Franky's cheek. Even Effy looked a little surprised, cocking a brow at the sight before turning back to her coffee.

"So how do you know Cook?" Emily asks trying like the rest of us to assume that she is more than some slag that he had shagged. She does seem a bit young, even for him.

"Cookie's my cousin." She smiles broadly with blinding white teeth.

Alright so then Cookie is not technically robbing the cradle or anything of the sort, but I was still hesitant. I have met exactly three of Cooks family member. Uncle Keith who could out drink a fish, Cook who is well … Cook, and Paddy who although he was only about eight showed up at my door with his brother after drinking, smoking, driving, and wrecking a car. Makes me wonder what kind of train wreck that this girl will be.

"I guess its about time that we fill these out then." I flop a stack of papers beside Emily where she is drying off pint glasses at the bar.

She looks at me skeptically, drying her hands before surveying the papers.

"Naomi-" She begins. But I've heard this argument before.

"Micah should be in school Emily." I say firmly

"No, Micah is fine for now. He's not going to be here forever. Katie will be back… I know it." Her last few words come out shaky and uncertain.

I want to believe Emily, I do. It's not that I don't trust her, or hope that there is really some crazy weird twin telepathy that clued Em's into something that I am oblivious to but in the meantime Micah should be carrying on like a normal boy. Sure he's getting quite an education at the pub, he can count back change, clean a dish, and pour a pint better than any five year olds I've ever met. But this isn't where he needs to be…

"Ems" I try to sound as sympathetic as possible, because really I am. But we have to be fair to Micah. "We don't know when Katie's coming back. But he needs to be in school."

Emily spins to face me as she lets the papers fall to the floor. Her eyes are hard and her jaw is set firm.

"You don't think that I know that Naoms? I…" She eases just a bit "I just don't want to make it any harder for him than this already probably is for him."

I look at her eyes, clouded with sadness and uncertainty. I place my hand atop hers, urging her to continue.

"It's just that I'm not sure he's like other kids yanno?" She breathes out "I don't know what he's come from, and I don't know what his history is. What I do know is that he's gotten comfortable here with us, and I don't want to risk that. I would hate for him to be in a new environment and get teased or picked on and not be able to help himself because let's face it- he hasn't said a fucking word the entire time he's been here!"

Give and take. Life is give and take.

"Alright. I sigh. But Em's two weeks. If Katie's not- … yanno, and nothing has changed with your parents, we have to get him in school. Fair?" I supply.

Emily casts her eyes down at the floor as she leans back on the counter.

"Fair." I she says.

We share a moment of silence neither sure what to do. Neither sure where are lives were going.

"Naoms?" Emily asks eyes still cast down. "Do you think I'm horrible?"

You know that twinge that you get when you see something so painful, so upsetting, that you're not sure quite what to do with it. That ache. I've been living with that ache.

"Of course not." I try to assure her pulling her into my arms and holding her to my chest. I kiss the top of her head. "You're doing beautifully Em's. Besides, you'll be a great mum someday-"

The words leave my mouth before I can stop them. Apparently they left my brain without consideration as well.

"Hmmm?" Emily says pulling back from our embrace, while keeping our bodies intertwined. Her eyes meet mine. They are filled with amusement.

Damage control. Damage control.

"Oh well, I mean like you know, … if … if you wanted to… I mean, I haven't thought, …. But I assumed, but I don't want to assume of course-" Stumble out lamely before letting out a submissive sigh and shrugging. Tugging me bottom lip between my teeth I smile at her apprehensively.

"You're cute when you're nervous." She smirks up at me. God she is perfect.

"I try." I muse sending her a quick wink before allowing her to pull me down against her lips.

There is always a little light in the dark.

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"_Fucks sake."_

The music in the club beats loud and low. The crowd rages to the beat vibrating beneath them. Sweaty bodies rub against one another and the air smells of alcohol and sex. Everyone looks at one another through dilated pupils, their eyes hungry.

She knows if she can push her way to the back of the club she can get on more hit. That's all that she needs for now. A bump, a line… give it to her in a needle. Anything.

She shoves some guy off her as his hands connect with her ass. The man stumbles back, surprised by her strength.

Outside the sun is coming up, or at least she assumes so. She tried to check the time on her phone a few minutes ago but had been seeing double. She pulls out her phone again, trying to see how long it's been since she's been in. Nope, this time its not better, not only are both sets of double numbers swaying from side to side they are vibrating against the beat of the music. Despite herself she chuckles.

With a sigh of relief she reaches the back door that went into one of the VIP rooms of the club.

"Simon." She doesn't have to say anything else to the man sitting on the couch cutting up lines on the coffee table.

He smiles at her seductively as he gestures her over. She lets him think that he can have her, … he probably will. Both of them know that he has what she wants, and both of them know that she will do what she needs to do to get it.

"Here babe." He scoots to the side allowing her almost enough room to sit beside him. She ends up being half on his lap.

She doesn't wait for permission as he grabs the back of her hair in a fist. He thrusts a rolled up bill at her and without a moment to waste she leans forward snorting up a huge, thick, line.

"Atta girl _Katie_." Simon snarls as he begins to nuzzle her neck.

She rubs her nose and sniffs it all back as she settles into the couch with Simon. She begins to feel the drip sliding down her throat and her heartbeat quickens. It's only a matter of time now. Hands begin to roam her body as she begins to slip away.

Tossing the bill on the table she turns back to Simon.

"Whas that?" He grasps hold of her wrist, surveying three letter tattooed there.

_**M . F . F**_

"It's nothing." She rips her arm away too quickly before pulling him into heated kiss.

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**What'd ya think? Return of Katie, and then a little gen 3. I'm hoping to keep Mini and Franky in this in some way or another. I think Mini Cook interaction would be a fun departure of general heaviness. Should pick up next chapter with either an all Katie chapter or a Katie/Emily split chapter. Katie's world is to be pretty dark. While obviously it wasnt totally like that on the show Im sure not the first to think she was sorely under used. What i hope to explore is the loss of her pride and esteem which seemed to be the main driving force behind the series Katie. I think that if she lost her status she would have been rather self destructive if you ask me. **

**Sorry on the rant. Stay chill. **

**Two hands two feet.  
**


	6. Under a Cloud Shaped like a Tomb

**Hey! I've been traveling but just got home and posted this. It is a little shorted but a lead up to everything about to go down. I had problems uploading it. It wouldnt let me load a new doc so I had to erase the last chapter in my doc manager and save it as this after i copied it. Does anyone know anything about that? Im worried about trying to post more and not being able to. ANYWAY short chap but a big chap. Thank you as always for your reviews. You guys have been awesome.**

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**Chapter 6: Under a Cloud Shaped Like a Tomb**

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I never meant to be gone this long. Actually, I guess I cant say that. It's been a long time since I've planned anything out, you know, lived intentionally. Sure I've always known what I wanted. Glitz, glamour, money. All of the things necessary to sustain a girl like me. I would get married on a big yacht in the ocean and diamond rock on my flinger would dazzle as I sailedaway to paradise. How did I end up here? I don't fucking know.

In college I always felt prepared. I knew what to wear, where to sit, who to talk to. I was confident. Maybe too confident. I think that's what has kept me away so long. Pride is a dreadful thing. I'd almost rather be alone, rather that nobody knows what I've become. I would spend hours in the mirror primping. Making sure that I looked perfect. After awhile I stopped liking what I saw, … and then I stopped really looking altogether.

When Danny got the call to play in Spain I thought that I had arrived. I finally had my ticket out of that town, you know? I had stars in my eyes as we boarded the train out of Bristol. Em's never came to say goodbye, but that's a time in my life that I don't go back to. Had I knew things would end up like this I would have never left, not that I would admit that to anyone.

All of my friends got to finish college, … well as far as I know. Instead I was in infested flats in bad parts of any given city with a screaming baby, trying to get a fix. Katie Fucking Fitch. Who would have thought? Well I'm sure someone but definitely not me.

My skin feels cold and clammy, the consistency of rubber almost. I know that I am sweating last nights make up down my cheeks, but at least I'm past the point of smelling myself. This place has no running water, don't know when the last time is that I've had a proper shower.

"KATIE!" A voice shouts through the door. The rapping of his fist on the wood causes my head to pound. "KATIE!" He tries again.

Maybe if I just sit here long enough he'll go away, think I'm out.

"Katie." His voice is softer now. "Katie please open the door. I haven't seen you in days, I- I just want to make sure that you're okay."

_Okay_? I think to myself as I scoff. I don't know when the last time that anything was okay.

"I'm really, really worried."

My heart lurches at his words. He does care, even though he shouldn't. He's cared for me through everything when lord knows he's had his own problems to deal with. I rise with unsteady feet. Come on Katie Fitch, get it the fuck together. If he see's you're okay maybe he'll just go, … and then I can go pick up. Lord do I need a fix.

I grab a jumper off the bed and pull it around me tightly. My hands work through the tangles of my hair as I pull it back and head to the door. That should do.

"Katie." The voice pleads on last time. Surely by now he knows that I am on the other side of the door. This is a game that we've played too many times.

My knuckles crack grotesquely as I grip the door knob. Pushing the door open I shove my shaking palms into the depth of my pockets. He looks at me appraisingly. Normally I would welcome it. It would be a good thing. Nobody but him sees me falter, and I hate it.

"You look like shit." His almond shaped eyes wide and sympathetic. Phh, the last thing that I need is anyones fucking sympathy.

"That anyway to talk to your best mate?" I challenge him with a smile. That smile would melt most men, but it causes him to almost scowl.

I cant stand the way that he is looking at me. Like he's better than me, and maybe he is. Maybe he should just fuck off. Yeah, that's what he should do.

"You're a mess Katie." He almost looks helpless now, shaggy brown hair shadowing his dark eyes.

"Look, if you came all the way down here to go on about this shit than you may as well just go fuck yourself 'cause I havent got the time, yeah?"

"You've got a problem, I'm just trying to help." He begins to saunter his lanky body toward me but I stay in the doorway holding my ground. Hell if anyone will try to tell me how to live my life. It's not as bad as he thinks, really it's not. "We didn't come here for this shit, you didn't leave your son to live like a slag."

That the one thing that haunts me in my life, not that I'm sure it's the biggest of my concerns at the moment. My son is being taken care of. I'm too far gone. I have too many secrets that involve too many people that they don't even know about. It was okay at first. I figured at some point I would come clean. But its gone too far. I'm too far into these lies to turn back. Long time ago it used to kill me. Now it just makes me numb. Maybe it's just that I'm always smashed. But still, the mention of my little boy stirs something in me.

"Don't you DARE talk about my fucking son. You don't know the first thing about being a mum!"

"Neither do you Katiekins."

I remember the day that he was born. I was scared shitless. There was no home to go back to. Danny came to see me in the hospital, though we had been broken up. It was obvious that Micah wasn't his son. He was born with dark skin and light brown eyes and a head full of light brown curls. He was, is, beautiful. He made me hope, I wanted to be better for him, you know? So when Danny said that we could move back into his flat I was more than grateful. Maybe we could make it work. I knew that I had to try for my son. I was also naïve.

"What did you say?"

"Micah needs a mum, not a junkie." He accuses. Well isn't he a fucking genius.

"Do not bring my fucking son into this. This has nothing to do with him!"

"Doesn't it? All you do Katie is use! You abandoned your fucking son and for what, this?"

"Oh get off your fucking high horse will you? It's not like you haven't come to me for fluff, or whatever else you want. How come it's okay for you to get all spiffed up whenever the fuck you want and I cant even fucking enjoy myself, why **_Freds_**, WHY?"

"MY MUM FUCKING KILLED HERSELF KATIE. You know this!" Freddie yells now, an anger welling up in him that I've never seen, even these past four years. "I, I thought," His voice cracks as he calms himself down, "I used to think maybe she would have thought she made a mistake you know? … Maybe when she swallowed all of those pills she had a moment of regret but it was too late. Maybe she still wanted to be my mum."

He looks up at me. I try not to let his sad, pleading eyes break my heart. Apparently I still have one.

"My mum cant come back Katie. Even if she had wanted to. But you can go back, and you can get better for your son but you're choosing not to because you're being selfish. That's worse Katie. Way worse."

Freddie is a martyr. He almost lost his life trying to save Effy, and his mothers death has affected him more than he seems to realize. He is always looking for someone to fix. Someone to protect. I've wondered at times if he was put on this earth to live his own life or stop everyone else from destroying their own. Even his childhood was spent doing damage control for Cook. Freddie is beautiful, honest, humble, and loyal to a fault. Maybe that's why I've been so selfish all of these years. I've been hoarding his security. Maybe it's time I let him be. Let him fix his own life, create his own dreams.

"You're right Freds." I bite my bottom lip to contain the tears threatening to fall. My insides feel like they are about to jump out of me if that makes any sense, and the throbbing in my head is now causing a dull ache in my temples. My teeth grind in my sore jaw as it takes every last amount of energy to hold it together.

"Katie I-"

I stop him before the apology that I know is bound to come spills from his lips. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything.

"Don't Freds." I half heartedly wipe the trail of tears away with the sleeve of my jumper. It had been Emilys. I would never opt to buy such a dreadful garment. It's so black and plain with odd yellow stitching… come to think of it, it may have belonged to Naomi. "It's okay."

"But-"

"Don't." I again cut him off. "I- I um, am really hungry. Would you mind picking me up a sandwich from the shop down the block?" I ask him with a small smile, trying to seem as genuine as possible. I feel like a bit of an ass I've still not let him in.

"Yeah of course." He says, though he looks skeptical. My lifestyle doesn't afford extra money for food usually. Much less a child. "You sure you don't want to come?"

I shake my head in reply.

"Maybe you can take me to Bristol sometime. I'd like to meet your sister." He gives me a small smile and nod before he heads out the door.

I watch him out the window and down the block, the guilt is too much to bear. I have ten minutes. Ten minutes tops to pack my things and disappear.

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**Got some answers but now more questions. Theories welcome. Hope you all are still with me! Next chapter will be normal length, i just wanted to get something out. What'd ya think? More soon.**

ALSO: Check out song "Under a cloud shaped like a Tomb" by ages and ages

**two hands two feet.**


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